the Weekly Framework: on redefining failure
ICYMI: I’ll be hosting a Creative Mornings FieldTrip about How to Meet People (and Maybe Make Friends) on December 4 😀 and I’d love to see you there!! If you can’t attend live, feel free to register anyway—you’ll get a link to a recording afterward 💖
hello, friends 💖
A couple of weeks ago, we looked at stepping out of our comfort zones and trying scary new things. One of the risks of doing that, of course, is that we’re more likely to fail.
But what exactly does it mean to fail?
Is it failure if things don’t go exactly the way you planned? What if things went better than you could’ve imagined?
Is it failure if the result isn’t “perfect”? 😝😝😝 Come on, y’all know how I feel about perfection. (If you don’t know: it’s a myth.)
Is it failure if you don’t “win”? Who chooses the winner, and who sets the criteria?
I don’t find any of these frameworks satisfying. Maybe I’m just salty because I spent years doing both trial work and appeals as a criminal defense attorney, and that involves a lot of losing. Somewhere along the way, I decided I could define for myself what it meant to “lose” a case and what was good enough to count as a “win.” Did I fight for my client? Did I explain things clearly so they could make their own informed decisions, even if I didn’t like those decisions? Did I do the best I could with the facts/law/judge/panel I had? That, ultimately, was all I could do, so it had to be enough.
I don’t see why that mindset shouldn’t apply equally in my current life, or, for that matter, in yours. I think we can each decide for ourselves what it means to fail, and therefore what it means to succeed. Have we done our best, given our personal circumstances and everything else we have going on? Have we learned something from the experience—even if it’s just to never do that again? 🤣
This week’s questions:
Reflection: How was last week? Did you manage to get a few things done? Did you reevaluate any long-held beliefs or at least keep an open mind about the people you saw or the activities you did?
This week: What’s on the schedule for this week? It is somehow December already 🤯 so bear that in mind as you plan. For some of us, this whole month can feel fully off the rails, what with holiday parties and gift buying and other people being out of the office/out of town/out of their minds. Maybe plan conservatively.
Defining success: Take a moment to think about what “success” would look like for the tasks or events on your schedule this week. What do you want to achieve, and how can you stack the deck in your favor? Maybe you need to set aside more time to prepare for a presentation (ahem talking to myself, here), or get to bed early so you’re fresh for a long day, or build in a buffer around an important meeting so you don’t feel rushed or impatient. See what you can do to proactively produce the results you want.
Redefining failure: On the flip side, consider what would truly constitute a “failure” by your own criteria. What do you hope doesn’t happen, and what can you do to decrease the likelihood of that outcome? What might you learn if things went disastrously, and what would you do differently if that happened? I love learning from mistakes I haven’t even made yet 😁
Self-care: What’s your favorite part of December? Can you get some of that on your calendar for the week? Maybe it’s shopping for gifts for your loved ones, or drinking hot spiced cider, or going out for long walks on dreary days when no one else is out (apparently this one is just me, because I’m usually on my own out here 😂). Whatever your end-of-year joy is, try to fit it in this week.
Have a splendid week, friends 💖
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